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I've Wasted Half My Life! - Joe Shlabotnik Is My Hero [Who Is Joe Shlabotnik?] [20 Random Pictures Taken By Peter] [What Is Peter Reading?]
August 18th, 2008
07:10 pm

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I've Wasted Half My Life!


August 6, 2008, seven in the evening, work's done, I'm feeding the baby and relaxing at home with "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace", a rare episode of the Simpsons I don't remember much about....

Homer is driving, listening to the inane DJs on KBBL:


DJ: Okay, here's another News Flush! [toilet flush sound] Doctors say the life expectancy of the average man is now seventy-six point two years!

Homer: [gasps and spins his car out across the highway ] Seventy-six point two? But I'm already thirty-eight point one! I've wasted half my life!


This sends Homer into a deep depression that provides the impetus for the episode's plot. And it kind of depressed me, too, for I calculated that on that day I was 38 years and 43 days old. Which rounds to... thirty-eight point one.

I did not need to know that I am as old as Homer Simpson.

(Later in the episode, Marge reminds Homer that he's actually 39. Which sent him moaning into a fetal position, yet cheered me slightly. Only slightly. I can't shake the feeling that I've wasted half my life watching Simpsons reruns.)

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From:tracied
Date:August 19th, 2008 12:46 am (UTC)
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HAHAHAHAAHA! That made me lol so hard. But also feel great sympathy....
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From:joeshlabotnik
Date:August 21st, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, either you'll be 38.1 some day, or you're already on the wrong side of it!
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