Peter, Not Joe (joeshlabotnik) wrote,
Peter, Not Joe

I've Wasted Half My Life!

August 6, 2008, seven in the evening, work's done, I'm feeding the baby and relaxing at home with "The Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace", a rare episode of the Simpsons I don't remember much about....

Homer is driving, listening to the inane DJs on KBBL:

DJ: Okay, here's another News Flush! [toilet flush sound] Doctors say the life expectancy of the average man is now seventy-six point two years!

Homer: [gasps and spins his car out across the highway ] Seventy-six point two? But I'm already thirty-eight point one! I've wasted half my life!

This sends Homer into a deep depression that provides the impetus for the episode's plot. And it kind of depressed me, too, for I calculated that on that day I was 38 years and 43 days old. Which rounds to... thirty-eight point one.

I did not need to know that I am as old as Homer Simpson.

(Later in the episode, Marge reminds Homer that he's actually 39. Which sent him moaning into a fetal position, yet cheered me slightly. Only slightly. I can't shake the feeling that I've wasted half my life watching Simpsons reruns.)
Tags: random

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